Life is Chaos

So this is an out of nowhere post, and not the post I was expecting to make, the main reason I am making this post is so I can speak as me and not be censored by the current state of applications like X or Instagram where my friends are active. Speaking of which what I am going to talk about is a possible trigger for people so uhhh... leave now before anything goes wrong for yourself....

So Hello again, I'm Hayden otherwise known as either Smiply or Sarah_The_Jew, and well I would call myself a chaos magnet, it can activate at ANY point in time but when it activates weird shit can happen and I guess tonight was the night where everything bad happened... I still find it bizarre in this day and age we need to tell people simple stuff like the clearly labeled price of a piece of fruit or what 1 + 1 equals, but even more bizarre to me is how people can go to the absolute extreme and abuse others, and, in the case of tonight, their significant others. Domestic abuse is not a joke at all and I know putting this down can make search engines like Google want to remove me but fuck you for censoring clear issues in everyday life... So context time, when I say chaos magnet what I mean is a set of events that happened tonight, I started going to the Gym recently and have started to actually see outcomes which has helped me (kind of...), but tonight was unique, I was being follewed by the police to the gym, I didn't think much of this until I parked got out the cops stopped, looked at me, than drove off... I didn't think much of it because there was another guy at the gym and was more concerned of someone who could be judging me... (That's dumb...), so start my work out, blinds are down but they are see through, so about 12 minutes in a woman comes running to the window banging on it, getting my attention so I run around and check whats happening, thought it was just someone locked out... nope, boy the chaos from earlier, the cops were looking for someone in the area, and it was this woman, she has obviously been in an altercation with someone and just ran, just left, to get away, so, she asks for water and if she can borrow my phone, I'm happy enough to let people borrow my phone to call or message (It's less a thing of if I have anything to hide, but the fact I have not much to hide...), anyways the other guy in the gym isn't having it and leaves, ironic, and I let the woman into the gym, and on my phone is a wall of text, not sent by her but from someone else, and boy is it bad, for her privacy I didn't read it and deleted any messages I saw. After she left I just started getting a flood of messages though from the number she was messaging and boy were they really the worst, demeaning messages I would think I would ever see. Anyways continue back to what I had come to do, gym, but all I had on my mind was that woman, was she going to be fine, and it's what she said to me that made me more upset than anything, keep your eyes on the news and hope you don't see me on there tomorrow.....

Like I'll be 100% honest here I have thoughts of (yeah ok you know the word here...), but if life is that bad thats what you say to me, I'm going to be a bit more on edge. So I decided to drive home, and yet again the police are stationed looking for her, I just wish I knew where she was going so I could pull over and talk with the cops and point them towards her... Just makes me feel like shit sometimes knowing that life can be that bad for people, and the fact that even now when we talk about it on the news or politics there will always be someone there to pull it the fuck apart or try to down play it like it's not an actual issue. BUT it actually is an issue and I wish there was actually a way to remove these people from these horrible situations cause to most normal people out there they would have 0% knowledge on how these issues arise...

I think out of respect though for my sanity again I must stop, I feel I may talk more on these types of triggering topics at some point as I do actively want to find solutions to these issues in life, even if the result hurts 1 white man but saves 100 random women, I would than hurt as many men as possible to make the world feel like a safer place for all... Idk, life is kinda fucked, I mean look at me, and I mean me, not the public version I have portrayed, fucked, totally, fucked...